Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
