I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my shit smells like andre
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
