he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
