4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
