so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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