I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
