quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
