Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
