I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Damn victory sex feels great
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
