OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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