Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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