plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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