well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
