@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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