If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
