So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
