How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
