There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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