What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
