I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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