i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
