is your mom at the bar?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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