And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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