I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
