4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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