I wanna bring you to show and tell
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
