I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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