He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
