aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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