are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
