I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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