Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
