i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
