If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
