If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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