Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
