Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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