I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
