So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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