fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
