What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
