Need sex. Gaining weight.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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