dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
