I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
