this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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