sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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