The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
