..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
