When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
