And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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