her vagine was all disorganized.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
