So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Never underestimate the power of titties
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