The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
