I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
