I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
